Power

One very important part of a marriage relationship comes down to power. 

Power is defined as the capacity or ability to direct or influence others in a particular way.  In the marriage relationship, there should be an equal share of power. Unfortunately this isn't always the case. There is a notion that men are the power-weilders in relationships, although that is a stereotype.

 It can be the man or the woman that dominates the relationship.  Regardless of who it is, it is a problem. 

Healthy marriages share an equal balance of power.

 Gordon B. Hinckley, a former president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints said, 

"In the marriage companionship there is neither inferiority nor superiority. The woman does not walk ahead of the man; neither does the man walk ahead of the woman. They walk side by side as a son and daughter of God on an eternal journey." 

It is important to notice that men and women play different roles in the family, although these roles do not delineate the power share. 

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners "(Declaration on the Family).

These are distinct and important roles.  

I am very grateful for my wonderful parents who have been an example of shared power in their relationship.  There are some things in which my Dad makes the final decision, but I know that he always counsels with my mother. 

Above anything, I think it's vital to put the Lord first in your decision making and then come together as husband and wife to make the final decision. Husbands and wives should be very careful to not be demanding and controlling of one another, but to give each other space to explore their personal dreams as well as marital goals. 

The following interchange represents this goal that couples should have to help one another soar and reach their highest dreams. 

Church magazines: Sister Hinckley, you have said that your husband “always let me do my own thing. He never insisted that I do anything his way, or any way, for that matter. From the very beginning he gave me space and let me fly.” How has he done that? 

Sister Hinckley: He never tells me what to do. He just lets me go. He has made me feel like a real person. He has encouraged me to do whatever makes me happy. He doesn’t try to rule or dominate me. 

Church magazines: President, you have said: “Some husbands regard it as their prerogative to compel their wives to fit their standards of what they think to be the ideal. It never works.” How have you avoided doing this with Sister Hinckley?

 President Hinckley: I’ve tried to recognize my wife’s individuality, her personality, her desires, her background, her ambitions. Let her fly. Yes, let her fly! Let her develop her own talents. Let her do things her way. Get out of her way, and marvel at what she does…If there is anything that concerns me, it is that some men try to run their wife’s life and tell her everything she ought to do. It will not work. There will not be happiness in the lives of the children nor of the parents where the man tries to run everything and control his wife. They are partners. They are companions in this great venture that we call marriage and family life.

That is exactly how I want to be in my marriage. I want to give my husband wings to fly, to always encourage him to do his best and then just let him do it! I know that as we share the power equally in our marriages that we will be happy.