For Time & All Eternity

...For Time and All Eternity

It's a common phrase used among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. But what does it mean? And why is it important?

When I was little girl, about three years old, I had a favorite song that I would frequently sing throughout the day. It goes like this:

I love to see the temple

I'm going there someday

To feel the holy spirit

To listen and to pray

For the temple is a house of God

A place of love and beauty

I'll prepare myself while I am young

This is my sacred duty

I love to see the temple 

I'll go inside someday

I'll covenant with my father

I'll promise to obey

For the temple is a holy place

Where we are sealed together

As a child of God I've learned this truth

A family is forever

As a child I didn't fully understand what this song meant, but as I've grown older, these words have been a source of strength and security for me. Latter-Day Saints believe that in Holy Temples we can be "sealed" to our families, meaning that we can be together forever with them if we are obedient to the promises we make to the Lord. This knowledge gives a different and more meaningful perspective on marriage. An eternal perspective means that a marriage and family is treated differently. If you want something to last forever, you have to take care of it. In some ways, it's a scary thought to think that the person you choose to marry will be yours forever, because you want to make the right choice. But it is also one of the most comforting truths, especially for those who may have lost their spouse.

When Latter-Day Saints are married in temples, they make covenants with one another as well as with God to love and cherish one another and to be faithful throughout their lives. A covenant is a two way promise. When a couple makes these covenants with God, God promises in return to strengthen them throughout life and exaltation and eternal life after they die. 'These are magnificent blessings that are conditional upon obedience. Nonmembers also make covenants when they are married. They promise that they will be true to each other, to love and cherish one another through sickness and health, etc. Unfortunately, these covenants are not always upheld and a "contract" view of marriage is slowly creeping into society.

A contract view of marriage is not one that will last. Someone with this view will withdraw their contract when things get hard. They won't invest all that they have in the relationship because they think they can just leave when they can't handle it anymore. This is definitely not the type of perspective you should have when going into a marriage.

So what can you do to ensure that your marriage is a covenant marriage and not a contractual marriage?

I think it's good to realize that you and your spouse are going to have disagreements, and that that's okay! There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you aren't disagreeing on the big things. Make sure to talk about those big things before you get married to make sure that they won't be a problem.

It's also important that going into the marriage or even the relationship, you make sure that you and your partner have the same expectations of where the relationship is heading. If one person is more committed than the other, that could be a problem. You need to understand that a marriage isn't going to be easy and it will take work, but the more that you work at it, the more you will cherish that relationship.

Marriage is not just a contract that can be ended whenever you want it to. It is a sacred union between man and woman that should be treated as such. So much joy and happiness awaits those who will work through the hard times and continue in their marriage with faith.