Not too long ago, we were sitting at the table playing a game as a family when a comment was made about same-sex marriage. Even among a family of Latter-Day Saints, there were differing opinions and it didn't take long before you could feel the tension in the room. Ten years ago, this wouldn't have been a topic of conversation. Now days, gay rights and same sex marriage is everywhere you go. It's on many television shows, it's on the news in courtrooms, and in the public.
There are many arguments to be made about same-sex marriage. Some say that love is love and that denying a couple to be married is denying them a fundamental right. These people will argue that granting a marriage to a gay couple does not affect other people's marriages, so what's the bother? They view those that oppose same sex marriage as bigots and "not with the times." They are accused of being judgmental and old-fashioned.
Some Concerns
Those who oppose same-sex marriage are aware of the long-term consequences of same-sex marriage. They argue that allowing gays to be legally married will change the definition of marriage altogether which in turn will change families. Some other implications that same-sex marriage will have is influencing religious ceremonies. If same-sex marriage is legalized, many religious institutions could be forced to administer ceremonies against their beliefs. As one who opposes same-sex marriage, this is one of the greatest concerns to me. As stated in the Family: A Proclamation to the World, marriage is to between a man and a woman. We believe that they should be sealed to one another in holy temples through the authority of the priesthood. It would be totally against our beliefs to administer these ordinances to a gay couple.
Another of my biggest concerns is the long-term consequences on the family with the legalization of gay marriage. Along with same-sex marriage, comes same-sex adoption. Those who argue that gay marriage is a right, will also argue that gay adoption is a right. How will this impact children who are adopted into these families? This is where it gets scary--because we just don't know. Not enough time has passed and not enough research has been done to say what the effects of this will be. These changes in the structure of the family will not just be internal, but they will be external. Schools will have to start teaching their students about these different relationships. Bullying will most likely be common in such circumstances, so these teaching opportunities will most likely be common. With more talk of same-sex marriage and gay rights, it will become more normal and more acceptable. Will these lead to more same-sex relationships? If children are taught at a young age that this is normal and acceptable, will they be more likely to be curious and explore their gender attraction? This is another concern to me. The more normal something becomes, the more likely it is to be replicated and approved of.
Although I oppose same-sex marriage, I try my best to understand and respect other people's views. We are so lucky to live in a country where we can have freedom of speech and feel free to express our opinions. We must still be careful not to be tolerant of these views. We must speak up about what we believe. If we don't, then who will?
To Those On the Fence...
I want to make a shout out to those people who are on the fence. There are many people who want to follow the prophet and guidelines from the church leaders, but who are influenced by the arguments of the world. They understand the doctrine of the family but they also empathize with those who have same-gender attraction. They are empathetic and loving people who just want to keep the peace and make everyone happy. I am very close to one of these people and although I disagree with his views, I love him nonetheless. I can admit that although I don't understand everything regarding this topic, and I don't know what the long-term consequences will be, I do know that the Lord knows everything. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and his ways are higher than our ways! I know that He guides us through His living prophet. It is this knowledge that helps me to maintain my faith even when things get confusing. I trust that He knows what is best for His children and would never lead us astray.
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